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The F Word

I am fat.  It’s true.  FAT.  This is not an oh-she’s-just-got-low-self-esteem thing.  According to the body mass index chart I am obese.  Like I need a chart to figure that one out.  Honestly, I could stand to lose a hundred pounds.  But I’d rather sit.  A few years ago I went through the DBT skills class (twice or thrice) that was offered at an eating disorder clinic.  Trying to kill two birds with one stone I focused some therapy on my binge eating, but the attempt was half-assed and I gave up on it.  I had bigger fish to fry.  Mmm, fry.  

It is now time that I give this aspect of my life another look.  The goal is to use food purely as a source of fuel for my body.  Not for entertainment.  Not to alter my mood.  Not to reward and/or punish myself.  This is my most immediate goal and I will have made SIGNIFICANT progress by the end of 2011.  Not exactly a new year’s resolution (I hate those – so cheesy) but, well, mmm cheese. 



recovering_borderline said...

I'm with you on that.
I am overweight myself, this ED messed me up big time.
I promise myself I won't be the same next year this time.
Hope you will find the strentgh inside you to fight this disorder and to win.

Anonymous said...

You crack me up! Mmmm crackers!I too hope to loose 100 lbs in 2011. I shall prevail as I hope you will to

Fragment said...

Dude, no way am I losing 100 pounds. At least not without losing a limb or two in a bizarre chocolate-eating accident. I'm setting my goal at 45, which seems like an awful lot still. Good luck to us both!!

My Black Fog said...

Me too. WHY do we binge eat????? Ughhh,.... Feels soothing at the time but just makes us hate ourselves later. I soooo want my skinny body back,... :-(