Borderline Personality Disorder Blog. Bipolar Disorder Blog. BPD. DBT. Cleveland. A Fragment in Orange.


i'm really liking sue miller's while i was gone. this bit especially:

"I was remembering the way it feels at just that moment when you begin to turn, when you're poised exactly between the things in life you want to do and those you need to do, and it seems for a few blessed seconds that they are all going to be the same."


i am less thoughts and more images. words pass before my eyes and stick on my tongue. a caged animal, my skin crawls and i want to be turned inside out. air this out. i am fighting the good fight. becoming a softer, calmer and gentler version. fighting the good fight in an army of one. this battle is for words. energy translated to a finished product. an actual product. and not an emotion. or frustration. i tear my hair out without touching a strand. i scream without opening my mouth. i rattle the bars of my cage and never think to check if the door is unlocked. breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out. back to the beginning.


late afternoon in winter. the sky has two layers. the overcast layer above is the smudge on foreheads on ash wednesday. the translucent layer below is the yolk of a hardboiled egg. this is the sky of old grief. when the noise of day greets the silence of night. a brief exchange as night and day punch the clock, one after the other. you never know who will go first.