Borderline Personality Disorder Blog. Bipolar Disorder Blog. BPD. DBT. Cleveland. A Fragment in Orange.


I feel like talking, so I tried to log in to this blog but could not remember my blog's name, the email address it's associated with, or my password.  It's funny that being secretive and trying to be anonymous and creating a million different aliases only keeps things hidden from me.  If I had everything out in the open, my real name out there for all to see, would anyone even care enough to read this?  I sort of wish that there was someone in my life that I wanted to hide things from.  Because right now there is no one.  Just me.

Looking back at previous posts I see that I wrote quite a bit about meds, and about my bipolar and borderline personality disorder diagnosis.  So an update -- I'm back on all my old meds, the ones I was on before I desperately tried adding and subtracting and getting off them altogether.  Turns out the old meds work for me.  Enough so that I'm still alive and I am able to get up in the morning and go to work and pay my bills and be moderately stable.  My psychiatrist added Deplin about a year ago.  A vitamin sort of folate thing, that's recently been shown to improve depression.  I don't understand it exactly, but I trust my psychiatrist and I'm up for trying something new considering his next idea was ECT (no thanks).  Deplin is expensive and not covered by insurance.  Maybe $190 for a three month supply?  I was reluctant at first to spend that much on a fucking VITAMIN (or what the Deplin site calls "a medical food" but I've been relatively depression-free for this year that I've been taking it, so why stop now?

I'm not moodswing-free.  Far from it.  I've been swinging from baseline okayness to hypomania.  The hypomania is a nice change.  It's good to feel up, but with the elevation comes inappropriateness.  More on that later. 

Back to watching tv and drinking coffee.  Now that I know my blog address and password I just might come back to ramble more.

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