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Exorcise me

For the past two weeks I've been taking a hard look at my binge-eating problem.   I've tried to stop the binging altogether.  But take away a self-destructive "coping" mechanism and the body and mind scramble to find something to replace it.  I've been trying my hardest to not replace the binging with a negative something else.  Meanwhile, in marches the foul mood, the self-loathing, the desire to do anything and everything bad to myself.  I swear, the devil resides WITHIN me.    

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week.  I'm going to beg going off the Abilify.  I'm convinced that it's the culprit for the rise in my blood pressure and weight.  It ain't cheap either.  I'm not sure why my doctor is so pro this drug.  The wean off Effexor is still slow-going.  From three tabs to two to one to a half and now down to a quarter last night.  And I still feel a bit of dizzy.  I'm interested to see what shrink-o comes up with at our appointment.  A brain transplant perhaps?


Jen said...

I don't understand my brain at all. I know I binge when I am alone for a while, which is a problem because I live alone. Losing weight brings out my demons and I am really trying hard to suppress them.

Fragment said...

Jen, I have the same problem with binging when I'm alone, as well as the living alone thing. And I find that I isolate myself a lot so that I can binge more without being found out.

Ruby Tuesday said...

good luck for your appointment; I hope it's helpful.